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[ website | Fullmetal Paradise ]
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(no subject) [Jul. 10th, 2010|02:44 pm]
[mood |stressedstressed]

I know I haven't posted anything since the flood, but I need to get this out of my system and be able to TRY to breathe.

I went on vacation for a week five hours away in Pensacola and it was the best possible week of my life. Coming back home, I was miserable, I came to realize it was mostly when my grandmother was around treating me like a slave, making me do this and that, while Jovan got away scot free with the excuse "I had work today" like I dont wake up to go into work at 9 or 10 in the morning and get off between 12-4. It's ridic.

I dont understand this. Yesterday I spent 40 minutes pulling weeds in the front yard, I got LITERALLY on my hands and knees scrubbing at the kitchen floor to clean out the grout with bleach, cooked dinner, cleaned the dishes, put the food up, scrubbed at the stove, bleached the sinks, I did it ALL with no help.

Today Jovan took a fucking watermelon out because it was bad. I get to go into town to buy stuff for my Mom, my brother, and my grandmother, while also having to put more bowls up.

I am a literally SLAVE to this family, that's all I feel like I'm good for. I don't do good enough in school. I can't get hours at work which, according to Jovan, is an easy job. I can't do anything right. That's all I feel like.

And probably the worst is that I haven't rant about it here or on LJ or something because the entirety of my family is on my facebook which allows me no privacy in the least. I don't have any close friends I can talk to up here about it. The closest one lives 30 minutes across town on base. And she'll be moving around the end of the year or so.

I hate being in a mood that makes me want to punch something hard enough to break my hand so just I can get away with not having to do anything. I almost did this today, even. Im just..I don't know..
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(no subject) [Apr. 8th, 2010|01:18 pm]

Please click that for me! Im trying super hard to win myself some Dragon Age stuff
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12 weeks later [Sep. 3rd, 2009|09:59 am]
And I finally update. Yelling at my school internet for being so slow (Probably someone on a laptop somewhere torrenting I'm sure).
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Update! [Jun. 6th, 2009|12:56 pm]
I know I've been failing at updating this, but literally, this is only the third day we've been back in our house. I'm still adjusting to everything that's new and cleaning and organizing stuff around the house while working like a mad man. Still have a lot to do around here..my room will get organized and then we find MORE stuff and it gets tossed upon my floor (Like my clothes..) and it's more work. I have some stuff to put up in my closet as well. I'll upload pictures before the flood, during, during the tear down, during the putting together, and at the end once everything is done. We still have to clean the outside of the house.

Metrocon wise..my panel for the Rangers is on Friday at 6PM I believe. It's only an hour (The flood prevented me from doing the usual) and I've made a prize directly from Japan..might make it a shogi board or Japanese magazine with FMA in it. I sort of have everything planned out for what I'm going to do there. My friend has an artist ally booth, so I'll be sure to go and pester her some, get her to do some commisions for me. I'm not doing all of this volunteer work this year, I need to relax after the flood and don't want to find myself running around like a madman. I'll be driving down to Tampa from Tallahassee with two friends of mine. Staying at the Marriott this year (I reserved the hotel room) with five people. Three of whom I hardly know, but it's cool, I know they can be trusted. I've even managed to pick someone up from Utah of all places to room with me. Ive been trying to watch all of the anime I don't know that will apepar in the Chess Match and Masquerade, and I'm still on Record of Lodoss War (It's a slow start, and it takes a while for the one's I need to appear). I'm getting really hyped up for it because I might finally see an old friend of mine from online, maybe on Monday we'll hang out before I have to leave town (we hope).

Aside from that..work is keeping me busy as I try to make money for Metrocon. Hotel room: $113, Food: $50, Gas: $50, Spending money: ?. I dont know how much I'll have as spending money, I have to wait to find out what all I have so I have enough left over in my account for food on the way back and such in the event of an emergency.
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Hai Hai, been a while [Apr. 20th, 2009|05:53 pm]
Konban wa!

Lol Japanese classes. Yeah I figured I was in dire need of a update, since I know a couple people still read these. Got a new laptop in college for art now. It consumes my life.

Our house got flooded and I've been living at a friends for over two weeks now. I miss my home badly though. Getting the room done a sort of..orangish color.

Still into FMA, enjoying the new series FMA: Brotherhood like crazy.

Also I'm still going to Metrocon with 1 slot left open in my room. It's $96 something if you join. We have 2 guys in our room..if anyone is willing to sleep on the floor along with a sixth person, they are glady welcome. Scheska says she'll be there, so we'll meet again after...4 years? Taisa..it'll have been about what, a year? lol. I fail at IM convos lately and again, college and the flooding consumed my life.

That's about it.
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Please...I'm so worried.. [Jan. 5th, 2008|03:56 am]
I am worried..about my Mom. This job she supposedly is supposed to have hasn't been provided yet..and she was supposed to start work on Dec 1st of 2007. It's now Jan 5th and still nothing. She's being taking out loan after loan, asking my Grandmother for money. She sat there and told me to my face that she doesn't know how she's going to afford things in Feb...She can barely afford this month. And I didn't know any of this..She just seemed fine and smiled and went on with life.

For Chrissake, if I'd know this, I would have told her to forget the Christmas gifts, I would have paid for my hotel room. I didn't want her to become this stressed out, because it's been showing. She's ill due to this stress, as well as working outside in the cold.

I wish I had a job so I could help her. I would sit there and give her every single paycheck of mine, but I can't even get a job...And I just don't know what to do. I don't want to sit here and watch this happen. I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what might happen not only to us..but more so my Mom. That's all I've thought about lately is what can I do to help? And the answer is nothing but what she says..

God I wish I could help..I wish something would just..happen to help her out. Something, anything. I jsut wish it would happen before something terrible happens...
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Why I miss my Tallahssee Friends so much! [Sep. 21st, 2007|07:09 pm]
          First, I'd like to say that I don't know when this will get to you so some of the dates may be off, but that's not what matters. (She wrote it on Monday the 17th)
          I want you to know that I will always be here for you, I promise. You can come to me with any problem, even if you think it's ridiculus, and I will do all I can to fix it. And tell me if you need me to actually be there. I will drop everything to be there for you. I should have done that already and I'm sorry I didn't.
          It may be completely odd for me to say it, but I wish I had joined the UWF volleyball team. That way, when they play VSU this weekend I could see you, even if it meant pissing of the coach to come to your house. Though there is some positive in that. If you can't come to UWF, I (and Shea, whether she's at UWF or not, actually) would have an excuse to drive to see you if you get stuck at VSU. Not that I need an excuse, but hey, who knows, maybe one day there'll be a spirit bus or something that you can stow away on.
          I know it's only September and there are still many months left in school, but keep your positive side upbeat, kay? even if I can't see you next weekend, I will make sure you can be with us at Anime South. And, before you think it, no, you are not paying me back for a present. And it's not that much money. Though, I wish I could buy you the one you wanted.
          I really miss you Misty. I don't think we've known each other for a full year yet because honestly I don't remember exactly wen we met. But the point is that you've become one of my dearest friends in that short period of time. I would do anything for you and I really wish you were still in Tallahassee where I know you'd be happy because my loved ones happiness matters most. I hate that there's nothing I can do to help you, but seriously, you can have my room. It's much cleaner now. I love you Misty and I want you to remember all this whenever you're feeling down. No matter what your friends will be there for you. I hope that just thinking that will help you get through anything, even if one of us can't, for some over powering reason, be there for you physically.
       Stay strong, Misty. I hope to see you soon.
                                                                                              Lots of Love,
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VOTE FOR ME [Sep. 17th, 2007|05:07 pm]

I REALLY want that tablet and thsoe copic markers.
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(no subject) [Apr. 9th, 2007|12:04 am]
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For English Class [Mar. 6th, 2007|07:57 pm]
Chapters 24 and 25

When you first get into chapter 24, you quickly learn that Jurgis has no home, no money, as well as no wife or children or any job. the police are not fond of him in the least. He wants to be arrested, but when he nearly is arrested, he runs away in fear of what might happen.
As Jurgis walks down the streets, he comes across a drunken man who is asking about lodging. The drunk drags Jurgis with him as he talks, and asks him to stay at his place. They settle for calling a cab, and the drunk man gives Jurgis $100 for the cab fare, the most money Jurgis had ever seen in the entirety of his life.
The drunk man is known as Freddie Jones, the son of the packer that Jurgis had previously worked for before losing his job.
Both men arrive at the house and feast and drink refreshments. When Freddie falls asleep, the butler kicks Jurgis out, obviously not very fond of him being around
Upon being kicked out, Jurgis attempts to get lodging, but cannot. He gets a beer and asks the bartender for his $99 back, but the bartender claims to have not received such a large quantity of money. This makes Jurgis extremely dissatisfied and angry, and results in him attacking the bartender, even with his injured arm. The police come rushing into the bar, and knock Jurgis unconscious, taking him off to jail. The bartender tells a lie when he is telling the story, and claims that Jurgis only gave him one dollar, and asked for $99 back, but before he could say anything, Jurgis attacked him. This leads him to jail for a second time.
In jail, he meets up with Jack Duane again, a criminal that Jurgis finds once he is out of jail. Duane leads Jurgis into a world of committed crimes in order to get themselves some money, which worries Jurgis at first, but soon gets over it, moving along happily with his money.
Then Jurgis is introduced to Buck Holloran, a friend of Duane's, who hires Jurgis for his own doings of work.
A man who was a night-watchman at Brown's, meets Jurgis. He comes to be known as "Bush" Harper. They stay up early into the morning talking about stories.
A few days later, Jurgis is told that he would be paid a regular salary if he would go to Packingtown and keep quiet. He would work for Mike Scully, the man that Harper worked for, who was a Democratic boss. Jurgis fears he could not get a job for being blacklisted, but Harper told him not to worry about it, he would fix everything up.
Jurgis does not know that it was Scully who was to blame for his child's drowning in the unpaved ground; that it was Scully that got him sent to jail the first time; and that Scully was the one who robbed him of his very home.
Jurgis goes to get a job, explaining that he is blacklisted, he is then given a job to trim hogs for money. He would also cheer on for Scully to win the election. He would gather groups of people together to go voting, and every time someone voted for Scully, they are paid. Jurgis learns this quickly, and proceeds to vote over and over again, happy with the practical free money he is receiving from a simple ballot, and Scully wins the voting in the end.
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